December 04, 2007

Isn’t it?

Fair, wheatish, dark - In the marriage market, women are reduced to a shade card.

11 comments:

~ ॐ ~ said...

in the marriage market, humans are not humans... people are not people... i think everyone goes through the same situation in some way or the other...

not that men have any better situations...

bhumika said...

Om, i agree that they all become products in the marriage market. But i still feel that men are in a far better situation than girls. Looking for a well-settled guy is not illogical, but describing the exact skin colour of the girl you want to make your life-partner is ridiculous.

This one can surely trigger off a debate :)

~ ॐ ~ said...

its about what you need isn't it?

if a woman wants to look for a well settled guy, why can't a man look for someone who meet his beauty specs?

about the exactness of the specifications... I have seen adverts which specify how much a guy should be earning in the criteria... ridiculous !!

i mean would you divorce the guy if he looses a job? or would the man leave the wife if she looses her looks...

There has to be much more than that when you look for someone to spend the rest of your life with, which i guess most of us agree... but I feel that its external factors, like relatives, adverts and the format, websites and information they display.. which only makes it worse than improving...

I personally don't believe in all this, but to be honest, I don't really like it when one says that women are the only one who suffer...

why is how a man looks not as important as how much he earns? its a strange debate, and a never ending one i guess :)

bhumika said...

whoa! someone seems to have felt offended :) again, i agree with whatever u've said. Some things are just not in our hands and we cannot change the way the society functions. For women (their parents, to be precise), financial security rules over external looks of the guy (most of them). I know these things sound ridiculous, but they fact is that most of the marriages in India are based on such criteria. There's a joke on the same which goes, "Is the girl b'ful or is it a love marriage?"

There's definitely much more to look for when you plan to spend the rest of your life with that someone special. These things just don't matter...

Thanks for your comments om :)

~ ॐ ~ said...

Offended no !

but I feel strongly about women being called weak... and men being looked at as the stronger one of the two !! I doubt that as of today...

I don't think its nice to generalise anything about marriages, men and women... its changing... if parents are keen on the financial aspect, women would usually be heard saying that the guy should be caring, loving, and all that... while men would first look for someone to be pretty enough, they would also think about how to have a future together and that is with both of them working together for it....

about the change in the way society functions... try doing that change yourself :) one change, and see if you can support the ones who want to bring a change in your own small subtle way... and some day you would see a difference...

all the best to you and to me...

and thanks for bringing this up.. its been a while that I have poured my thoughts out like this...

no offence taken or meant :) seriously :)

bhumika said...

try doing that change yourself...

yes, i'm on my way to bring in a sea change pretty soon :)

Thankfully, things are changing and they will continue for good. I'd never expected that my one-liner would trigger off such a debate! It was great to hear extensively from your side...i enjoyed it, thanks :)

~ ॐ ~ said...

my pleasure...

all the best... do write about that change too when you can...

Jui Chitre said...

good good.. it was nice hear this debate...:) and i happen to agree with both of u all.. its sad how everything is stereotyped..some effort from all of us and bring the much needed change .. hopefully

bhumika said...

agree with you - be the change you want to see

Rhapsody said...

Hmm...now this was interesting debate.

So, do you guys think, things have changed over the time? :)

Rhapsody said...

Strangely, I agree with both - Bhumika and Om :)