December 05, 2007

English, Professor!

There are those famous jokes about the way Gujaratis speak English – snack-snakes; hall-hole, etc. For 21 years in Ahmedabad, I had never come across any Gujarati who spoke that way. However, sometime in 2004, while on my train to Pune, a Gujarati girl scared the shit out of me when she said, “My bag is full of snakes.” It took some seconds to realize what she meant.

My point being, English is a very funny language. Just a slight twitch of a syllable and the entire context changes. And professors are those species who have the knack of using it in the weirdest ways. Forget the ‘open the windows and let the airforce come in’ under-grad jokes. We are talking about the use of English language at the Masters level. And when it comes to DCS, you are sure to chance upon some real gems of phonetic bends.

Here, every professor has a distinct style. Let me begin with Mr D – the same not-so-beloved professor who taught us the basics of Mass Com. His tragedy is that he often gets confused with the long 'eeee' and the short 'i' in words. The result – some absolutely new meanings emerging out of bland sentences and many embarrassing moments…

The beginning – innocent and forgivable…

Media is a very complex subject. To understand it completely, you need to pip into the nuances. (peep into the nuances).

For a class that would dig double-meaning in every sentence, this was perhaps their best chance…

This was during our class trip to Goa:
This is such a rare sight – so many goats on a bitch!!! (beach)

After this one, girls were ready to kill him!

While talking about the Press Council of India:
It’s like a paper tiger with rubber *** (teeth)

But this is just the teeep of the iceberg. Once you seeeet in his class, you’ll realize how torturous things can get! His tongue sleeps was too much :P

16 comments:

Anjuli said...

:-) good one!

LilOne said...

hahahaha!!! :) :)
i love the shade card ones. infact most of ur recent ones :)
lets just both of take sanyaas from everything n get down to some serious writing :d

r u game?

rituparna said...

How can u forget our adorable HOD...Mr. Snake himself??

bhumika said...

@anjuli

:) thanks for stopping by.

@neha

thenks (OSO style :P)...yeah, the shade card one - i really enjoyed the debate :)

About taking a sanyaas - game! ye bhi koi poochne ki baat hai?!

bhumika said...

@ritu

Yeah, Mr. Snake deserves an exclusive pos...hunting for ‘Sanapsisms’ I’d noted on the last page of my book :)

rituparna said...

Our beloved Snake once turned DCS women into 'Call Girls'...sorry if am too explicit!!:P

Nicky said...

Hey Bhumi, great one...love your wit and humour...

~ ॐ ~ said...

hehehee

:)

bhumika said...

@ritu

who can forget that shocking phrase...plan to include it in another post dedicated to him :)

@nicky

dhanyawaad...Good to see the DCS gang together once again :)

@om

:) time for you to share your experiences...

Jui Chitre said...

hehehe Shit!! ppl at my office will think i have gone crazy..i tried all possible ways to ctrl my laughter.. but, this one's just too good..

mitali said...

Bosss..u have hit the right note..ur blogs are gonna be flooded with comments, coz u have chosen a topic so close to all our collective hearts!great going bhumi..ur ideas rock!

bhumika said...

@jui

control beta control...

@mitali

i'm flattered :)) all i can say is - doosron ko khushi dene mein jo anand milta hai uski koi seema nahin..wah wah :P

vikram gopinath said...

too good bhumika...and ya plz come up with a blog on our dearest Yechch O D...

bhumika said...

thanks vikram :) surely our yechch O D will soon feature on this blog

Maxima said...

Good words.

bhumika said...

thanks maxima!