October 03, 2007

compromise v/s adjustment

When you reach a suitable age, your parents start getting worried about your marriage. They are more worried that you'll have some weird ideas about the kind of life partner you want. So they keep telling you, "Beta, shaadi mein thoda compromise to karna hi padta hai."

I keep saying, "I'm ready to adjust, not compromise."

Many do not differentiate between the two, but there is a stark difference.

Compromise is letting go something of your self in order to create some kind of balance in a relationship. It may become mandatory since the relationship demands it, or more often than not, because of major ego clashes.

Adjustment can be seen as a voluntary act. It's at your own free will. You think of making things better, of creating a perfect blend and hence are ready to alter the degree of one or more of your characteristics. I repeat, you alter, do not shun the characteristic completely, which happens in case of compromise.

In a relationship, two people are like two musical notes. Both the notes are equally important and have a role to play. When one is high, the other ought to be low and vice versa. Only then can they produce music that sounds melodious. Adjustment is all about moulding yourself according to the situation. When you compromise, you are losing on one of the notes and hence taking away the essence of music.


S-n-E-h-A-l = SEA = WIDE = OPEN = DEEP said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
S-n-E-h-A-l = SEA = WIDE = OPEN = DEEP said...

I don't know whether the example of the Music Note, you have given about relationship is your own or you have read it somewhere. But its really a nice example.

Keep posting.

Unknown said...

Beta...tu abhi shaadi kar le..lol:P

bhumika said...

@ snehal - the example is from a short story by P. Deshpande, a renowned Maharashtrian writer. When i was in Pune, my roomie read the story and explained this particular example to me and it has stayed in my mind ever since :)

@ ritu : irada to yahi hai :P

mitali said...

Hey Bhumi..lovely post! You really are a very deep person..I always knew it..just expressing it once more :)

SS said...

Lovely post.
Just 2 weeks back I had tiff with my parents on the same issue..."Beta, shaadi mein thoda compromise to karna hi padta hai." and my answer was "I'm ready to adjust, not compromise. NEVER."

Btw, I really like your blog. Can relate with so many posts here.

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Anonymous said...

very nice difference given by you, but it shd be read and understand by your spouse also

Tanzila said...

I really like the post. Can you plzz explain more on compromise. Means example.thanks for post.waiting for my reply